Pilipino ako..

hello.

hmmm.. ano ba? san ba ko magsisimula??

nanibago ka ba?

ako din eh..

hayy.... eto.. nagyon lang ako sinipag magsulat ulit. ewan ko ba. ang dami dami kong gusto isulat pero wala eh,, nkakatamad! haha

well siguro naubusan na lang ako ulit ng ingles sa katawan haha! kaya nga eto, nagbabakasakali na pag ginamit ko ang lenggwaheng sumisimbolo sa aking pagkatao (naks naman! ) eh sisipagin ako magsulat ulit.

malay natin di ba?

ang daming nagdaaan na araw at madami na din akong alaalang naimbak ---mga alaalang sa tingin ko ay "worthy" naman na isalaksak sa limitadong capacity ng hard drive ko; mag alaalang ang sarap sariwain sa araw-araw--- mga alaalang ang sarap balik-balikan :)

Nung grade 6 ako, bumili ako ng isang notebook at tinawag ko itong "My personal Journal" oha.. hindi "Diary" kundi journal... ano nga bang pinagkaiba nun? ewan ko din.. haha basta kasi, parang mas sosyal pakinggan ung salitang "journal" At syempre, dahil sosyal ang pangalan, dpat sosyal din ung laman kaya aun... sinikap ko na ang maging medium of instruction (classroom ba ito?? haha) ay ingles.. Infairness, ok naman..at sa tuwing mapagtitripan ko siyang basahin ay wala naman ako masyadong makita na correction sa grammar ko..

Halos araw-araw akong nagsusulat dun.. mapa-masaya, nakakainis, nakakaiyak, nakakakilig o nakakalungkot man ang araw ko. Kaso, dumating ang mga araw na parang tinatamad na ko.. At ayun nga, yun na nga ata ung araw na naubusan ako ng ingles sa katawan. haha Nung sinubukan kong tratuhing Pilipino ung "journal" ko.. ayun, sinipag ulit akong magsulat ng magsulat. malay natin di ba? sipagin ako ulit sa pagkakataong ito :)

Isang araw, may nakakwentuhan ako.. sa totoo lang, matagal ko na siyang kilala pero nung mga oras yun lang ata kami nagkakwentuhan talaga. ang dami niyang alam.. and dami niyang kwento! pero infairness, kahit tagapakinig lang ang ang role ko,kahit ginabi kami ng husto at pinapapak na ko ng lamok, hindi ako nagsawa. At ayun nga, nabanggit niya sakin nung gabing yon ang pagpapahalaga niya sa wika natin. Tinanong niya nga ako kung mahilig ba daw ako magbasa ng mga tula, kwento, etc. sabi ko "Opo." tinanong niya ko kung ingles o filipino... hindi ako nakasagot agad...

Kung siya daw kasi ang tatanungin mas gusto niya yung sariling atin. Bihira na daw ang nahihilig sa mga ganun kung kaya't iba ang pagpapahalaga na ibibinibigay niya sa literaryong pilipino. Oo nga naman, Pilipino tayo.. bakit ba mas tinatangkilik natin ang sa banyaga? Hindi naman masama, pero baka dumating ang araw na makalimot tayo at tuluyang mawala ang mga mga bagay na sumisimbolo sa ating pagkatao.

Natanong din niya ko kung nagsusulat din daw ako, sabi ko "Opo.. dati." Ayun nga, gusto daw niya mabasa ang mga gawa ko. kaso ayoko, nakakahiya. tingin ko kasi sa mga gawa ko eh "gawang bata".. pero malamang..bata pa naman tlga ko nung ginawa ko yung mga yun.haha at bukod dun, puro kasi yun ingles..

Napagisip-isip ko.."Bakit nga ba puro ingles ang gawa ko? Eh Pilipino ako...!"

Bago kami maghiwalay, may binigay siya saking isang kwaderno.. malinis pa.. walang sulat... bagong-bago.. at ang sabi niya, Gusto daw niya, ako ang unang dumumi nun.. nyay! parang ang pangit naman pakinggan.. haha hindi ko na matandaaan ung eksaktong sinabi nia.. (sabi ko nman sayo di ba, limitado ang capacity ng hardrive ko.. haha )pero you get my point naman di ba?? so ayun nga..

Nainspire ako ng gabi na yon.. sabi ko, "Magsusulat ako ulit. At sa pagkakataong ito, sariling wika natin ang gagamitin ko.."

Pero bakit nga ba hanggang ngayon ay wala pa kong naisusulat?

Nagbabasa ka ba tlga??

tulad nga ng sabi ko kanina, "NAKAKATAMAD!"

haha

at marahil ay masyado din akong maraming pinagkakaabalahan nung mga nakaraang araw.. (asus! palusot pa ko.. haha)

hindi tuloy maalis sa isip ko ang labis na panghihinayang...

isa kasi yun sa mga alaalang naimbak ko..

worthy isalaksak sa limitadong capacity ng hard drive ko..

masarap sariwain sa araw-araw...

at masarap balik-balikan...

kung sinipag lang siguro ako magsulat nung araw na yun.. eh di sana detalyado ko pa siyang naikwento sayo ngayon...

pero ayos lang din..

tulad nga ng sabi sakin ng isa sa mga malalapit kong kaibigan sa ngayon,

"hindi mo naman kailangan kabisaduhin, isapuso mo lang.."

nakakatuwa kasi eto, kahit hindi ko siya naisulat.. alam kong hindi ko malilimutan ang gabing yun at kaalinsabay non ay ang lahat ng natutunan ko..

kasi nga, hindi ko kinabisado... isinapuso ko :)

at eto, sa pamamagitan ng blogpost kong 'to.. nais kong ipagmalaki at ipagsigawan ang isa sa mga tumatak ng lubos sa puso ko noong gabi yon..

"Oo! Pilipino ako" :)

Just for my peace of mind

I went to church yesterday and one of the verses read during lecture was about our Almighty God sacrificing His Son so that we may be saved despite all our sins. And I suddenly remembered one thing-------our dreadful EXTEMPO in our speech class last Wednesay. Argh! I still can't get over my epic failure that day. Oh wait, let me correct that. Since it bothered me through our next class which is Business Statistics, I guess it would be appropriate to make it plural and say EPIC FAILURES. Grrr...

Well I can't actually complain about the grade that I got because I'm very much convinced that I deserved it. I just can't stand the thought that "Gosh! That was embarassing."

Thinking about it is just torturing so I thought, "For my peace of mind, why not blog about it here?"

So here I am.

I admit that I'm not really good at expressing my thoughts right then and there. I'm just... terrible! Have you experienced the feeling that you know what to say, you know what you WANT to say, but you just can't express it the way you want it to? Well I always do. That's why I've not always been very much active in class recitations. I was always afraid of making mistakes and of not being able to express my thoughts well. And you know what? I've always hated myself for not having that confidence, especially during those times when none of your classmates could give the answer and you know it (or at least you've guessed it right). Same goes for instances when you and your friends are talking about stuff.

Now you may say, "Alright, I can see why she was disappointed with what she got during speech class. I don't get her point. How does this relate to each other?"

Don't worry. You'll get it along the way.

You know what? I've been thinking, "Maybe if I've given myself enough trust, I think I would've done better."

Have you heard about the "Law of attraction?"

Well the law of attraction states that if you think positively, you attract positive energy and if you think negatively,you attract negative energy. (something like that)

I've always given this piece advice to my friends but I seem to find it difficult to apply it to myself at some circumstances.

And I believe that was the biggest mistake I made that day. Instead of encouraging myself that I could do it, I sort of dwelled on the thought that I was terrible at those stuff which made me more nervous and in effect increased the chances of me screwing up.

Not making that mistake. This is what I would've probably said.....

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I would like thank all of you in advance for listening and for bearing with me because I myself admit that I'm not really good at delivering

extemporaneous speeches. It's not like you have a choice or anything but yes, you have to listen to me :)

(this is exactly how i started it..after this, everything fell apart. I may have sounded and looked confident ,but all my nervousness took its toll on my thoughts and it showed. )

The addage that I got reads: "Love is a fire whose devouring flames all earthly ills are consumed" by Robert Bridges

(ok. so when i first read the paper that I got, I was like "What?" and from there, I freaked out. we were given 2 minutes to organize our thoughts but sad to say, it wasn't enough for me to compose myslelf)

So what is Love? well unlike many people here in this room, I haven't got any clever or wise quotations to define it, but the way I understand it--- Love is synonymous to the word care. Because it's when you truly care about something or someone, you can say that there is this thing called "LOVE".

For me,there are different classifications of love. There is this love for your friends, your relatives, for your special someone,for people you don't know, and the Greatest love of all.

What about earthly ills? I believe these are like sinful actions that is prevalent here on earth.

Now you may ask, how does love consume these earthly ills?

Example

When you love someone, you give him/her value. You do anything to protect it and never would you let it get hurt. This consumes or overcomes the sin of selfishness and self centeredness because it makes you think of the welfare of other people than yourself. Same goes in caring for,things, people you may not know and other living creatures here on earth.

But among the different classifications of love that I have mentioned beforehand, I would like to emphasize one thing--the Greatest Love.

Our Almighty God, out of his love for us, sacrificed His Son Jesus, so that we may be saved inspite of all our sins and it is out of our love for Him that we decide to sacrifice our own earthly desires just to follow his commandments.I believe that this example alone, without any further explanation,would give justification to what Robert Bridges has said, that "Love is a fire whose devouring flames all earthly ills are consumed"

To sum it up, love is care; love is powerful;love consumes earthly ills. Without love, none of us would be here. Let us share with each other the love that we have received from Him and we may all live in harmony.

Thank you."

Do you think that would've fiitted in 2 minutes?

Sometimes I talk a bit fast but understandable so I think that would've been just enough. Of course it wouldn't be exactly as it is but it would at least be something like that. :)

what's the point of me posting this?

Well I usually find it hard to get over things like this when I don't get to reinstate or make my points. So here, I hope that I was able to express it well and I'm hoping that this would finally give me a peace of mind. :)

On the bright side, it was written on my paper that I already had good nonverbal communication so the only thing i would have to work on would be my on the spot organization of ideas. Good luck on that. :))

Law of attraction.... positive energy...

AJA! :D

P.S

I'm guessing you already get the point why I remembered our activity in speech class while I was in church.. :)

***thank you very much for the time. Gracias :) ***

lifebits004,005,006,007

>our report in macro last Feb.15 went better than we expected :)

noel,lizette and april... congraaaaaats!!

>Feb.20 2011 happy anniversary da.ge.la!! :D

>been busy spending time with my "blue guitar" every now and then :)

>been thinking of a lot of things... the usual stuff and the unusual :(

lifebits003 :P

still awake... eating "Kornets".. going nuts over our report in Economics.. o_O

currently @....... currently lost in space.. >_<

lifebits002 :P

didn't finish our final paper..

definitely not in the mood... :(

someone please tell me what's happening... !!!!!

(bummer!!!!!! ###########################)

lifebits0001 :P

excited for wednesday, friday and, saturday :D

currently working on our final paper...??? listening to music and thinking of.......... stuff :D

lifebits000 :P

Arrived late for my first class...

AGAIN!!!! >_<##

currently @ http://www.cprogramming.com/tutorial/lesson1.html

Now what?

just finished reading a few blog posts and you know what? I'm inspired! Well yeah.. i'm kinda hoping that this will lead me back into the world of blogging :D *hopefully* Argh! i can't express how much I miss blogging! I have so many things to share and I can't wait to start! I'm very much eager to get myself back on track and I think visiting this small world of mine more often would be a great way to start things off. But before anything else, I think hitting the sack would be the most appropriate thing to do as of now. Good night :D **dominiquelbhe